The Zero Expectation Hack

What do you see in this image?

Most people would reply they see a dot.

What if I tell you the dot is the negative, while the rest of the image is positive. That’s how most people unfortunately function. A person sees the negative first and then the positive.

“I want to be happy”

Every person has said this once in their life. If not, then some other version of the same phrase.

The secret to happiness is simply having no expectations or very little expectations from others.

I have always wondered why human beings set such expectations. To be honest, I am guilty for setting high expectations from others and have hurt myself as a result too. In this article, I will tell you some mistakes we make relating to expectations and how we can rectify our wrongs. The article is divided into 6 paragraphs. Below I have mentioned the order just in case you wish to jump to one of the following.

1. Hurt when people fail to live to their promises

2. Deserve help because they see situations from a self-serving bias.

3. Focusing on the end benefit rather than the process and the value created.

4. What will my family and friends think of me?

5. How success relates to your expectation levels

6. Set benchmarks for yourself

1. How many times have you noticed people’s words and actions don’t match? A lot of times, right? They talk the talk, but can’t walk the walk. So, while you can’t change everyone, you can definitely change yourself. If someone lets you down, learn from the mistake. To some extent, it is partially your mistake that you let the individual have such an impact. Human beings are emotional beings. Nevertheless, for some situations we need to evaluate practically and from the brain not the heart. I believe there is a simple process which when followed allows one to evaluate dilemmas more effectively.

• Firstly, empathize and try to understand their reasonings. Get yourself emerged into other’s side and understand their ‘why’.

• Ask 2-3 other people (if matter can be shared) to gain perspectives and third-party insights. A third party can reduce bias decision making.

• Make the person understand that it’s not you against them, it’s you both against the problem.

• Generally, when a person is angry, they don’t think logically. Hence, trying to solve the dispute after a while once again may be attempt to consider.

• If you still feel it was wrong, be glad it happened in the present and not in the future.

• Cut ties with the individual, distance yourself or just interact less frequently. Understand than they did you a favor by the mistake and now you can be more cautious about the same. Life is not an upward slopping linear line. Don’t be hard on yourself.

2. People automatically assume they are entitled to help. This is a huge misconception in today’s age. I feel one should be more self-aware and try to figure out solutions by themselves. A growth mindset is very powerful in the pursuit for a successful life.

3. In addition, do things not because of the end result, or the reward for it but rather to create value and make an impact. The goal shouldn’t be to reap benefits but to spread a positive influence. Furthermore, the return on investment should ideally not be seen in terms of figures. I have encountered several of my friends who obtain happiness when they receive numerous likes on their posts, or brag about their LinkedIn connections.

4. Another common concern is people are more worried about what others will think of them especially their close one. While friends and families want the best for you, they will not always align with your beliefs, and your ideas in general. That’s okay! Life is not about impressing others. Also, sometimes they may criticize you more so during the start. This may be due to the uncertainty, risk and ambiguity that comes with it. That’s okay too! Play the long-run game, try to understand that this is a journey. A puddle on the road to success. Keep driving!

5. Success increases your expectations but it should not get to your head. You should not let it be a be treated as the end result ever. Have an infinite mindset.

“Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people in to thinking they can’t lose.” – Bill Gates

6. Always set high standards for yourself. However, don’t be disappointed if you don’t meet them. For example, if you feel you can finish a task in 60 mins, try finishing in 30 mins. You might fail to finish in 30 mins but you might finish in 45 mins. Of course, don’t hinder quality though. The message is, trick with your own mind and push it to its potential.

Remember, awareness of how your brain functions and the ability to manipulate your wired wrongs is the ultimate weapon to solving any problem.